findingwordsforthoughts:

“you know how the meteorologists can predict shifts in the weather weeks in advance based on a number of small signs that they can connect in a pattern - well you get like that as well - but with your own self. you learn to predict your mood, based off of little signs, like have you been dreaming and how do you wake up feeling in the morning and what kind of coffee you’ve been drinking and is your playlist on shuffle or are you listening to a single song on repeat, what jeans are you wearing and did you forget your umbrella this morning. see you learn to know when things are about to go bad in advance, you learn the signs well before your chest feels like it’s collapsing and you can’t breathe and hurting yourself seems like the only way out, you learn how not to get to that place where the world is already an enemy, already too much and already too heavy - you learn to ask for help while you’re still ok, while you can still help yourself. you’re a little bit like a great scientist darling - you need to learn your own language, you need to code yourself, observe yourself and learn yourself and then, then you need to fight like hell to save yourself. you’re a little bit like a kick-ass agent on the bomb squad who knows how to diffuse a bomb, but also when to ask for help and when to run and hide; you’re a little bit like a super hero who flies in and saves when everyone else has left. your illness can be your strength, but you have to get to know it better than you’ve ever known anything else.”

— marina v., insight.

metamorphesque:

― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

AN OPEN LETTER TO AN OLD FRIEND.

nhi! i’ll start by saying i miss you. i really do miss you. its on days like this when i miss you the most. i miss you when i’m crying and stressed out and i would just message or call you and you would always say the most comforting words i need to hear. i miss you when i’m sick. you would always be there forcing me to go see a doctor. you used to be my personal doctor before. i miss you on my good days. when something good came up and you would always be there being so proud of me. i miss you when i’m stressed out and mad at the world and you would magically appear out of nowhere. you never let me feel alone. i miss knowing that at the end of the day i had you, no matter how bad the situation might be, i know you would always be there.

i am sad that from here on out, you’re not a part of my life anymore. but what i’m most sad of is that you don’t care at all. i am hurt that maybe you haven’t noticed my absence in your life or maybe you have, but it doesn’t matter to you. i know you don’t look back on our friendship as fondly as i do. however, even if that is the case, i will never give up on the hope that we will find our way back to each other, no matter how unlikely that now seems. i know we can never go back to the way things were. too much time has passed and our world’s have changed drastically. i just want you to know that i will never stop caring about you and wishing you well in life. i want you to be happy, and i want good things to come to you. you deserve to live the life you want to live. you will always hold a special place in my heart. thank you for everything. you have made an incredible impact in my life. i am where i am right now because you always believed in me when no one else did. you’re always proud of the little things i did even though i messed up a lot. for whatever reason, you saw something in me that i didn’t see in myself. i miss you more than you could ever possibly know.

-Mycarl

glassbonespaperskin:

the worst part about being lied to, is knowing you are being lied to and the person lying to you still doesn’t think you are worth the truth

080720 2:53am

You are my silver lining.

nevver:

Midnight Mass, Marzio Toniolo

kids-n-teens-blog:

nevver:

Knock loud, I’m home.